


Don't Let Go

by yeska_noka



Category: 7 MEN 侍 | 7 MEN Samurai (Band), HiHi Jets (Band), Johnny's Entertainment, Johnny's Jr.
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 19:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28533312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeska_noka/pseuds/yeska_noka
Summary: It was never serious.
Relationships: Hashimoto Ryo/Inoue Mizuki, Inoue Mizuki/Nakamura Reia
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Don't Let Go

Ryo had loved Mizuki for as long as he could remember. It wasn’t a thing he had ever thought too much about; it felt natural and right, and he was happy about the way things were. As long as he could be around Mizuki, spend time with him, it was enough. 

And then Mizuki kissed him. 

It hurt in ways Ryo had never imagined. Because it was so beautiful and so perfect… and it meant nothing to Mizuki at all. 

It hurt, and Ryo knew he should stop, but he wouldn’t deny Mizuki this… and he couldn’t deny himself. Even if Mizuki didn’t mean it the way Ryo wanted him to, Ryo couldn’t give up the chance to be closer to him, to share those moments with him. And so he kissed him, and he touched him, and he held him, and it tore holes in his heart every single time. 

He tried his best to show Mizuki how he felt, hoping, praying that maybe Mizuki would understand, and knowing that he wouldn’t. Knowing that each time, Mizuki would walk out the door and nothing would have changed. And Ryo didn’t care who else he went to, because he knew they mattered to Mizuki just as little as he did: just friends, just some fun. 

But Ryo can’t stop - won’t stop - because he loves him. And nothing else matters.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

When Reia kisses Mizuki, it’s nothing new - he’s Mizuki’s most frequent playmate, and has been for ages. But recently, things have felt different. Mizuki kisses him back because he always has, but he feels… nothing. He likes Reia, he really does, but there’s nothing in this kiss at all. Mizuki turns his head away. 

“Reia…”

Reia isn’t deterred. He kisses his way down Mizuki’s neck instead. Mizuki takes a deep breath and pushes him back slightly to stop him. 

“Reia, wait.” 

Reia must see something in his face. He looks a bit confused. “What?”

Mizuki just shakes his head. “I can’t.”

Reia frowns at him. “Why not?”

Why not? It’s a very good question, and one Mizuki’s not sure he knows the real answer to. He just knows that Reia isn’t…

“Ryo…” Mizuki frowns at himself. Reia isn’t Ryo. He doesn’t make him feel anything like Ryo does.

“Hmm?” Reia says. “Hashimocchan won’t mind.”

Mizuki knows Ryo won’t mind. He’s not the jealous type. Mizuki shakes his head. “No, that’s not– that’s not what I mean…” 

Reia tilts his head in question, and Mizuki tries to find the words to explain himself. 

“I just… don’t…”

Mizuki’s not even really sure how it happened. Ryo’s always doted on him, always done everything for him, and somehow it just seemed obvious to Mizuki that if he kissed Ryo, Ryo would kiss him back. That if he pulled Ryo down on the couch, Ryo would follow him. And although Ryo seemed hesitant about it all, he always responded to Mizuki’s touches, and to his kisses, and he never, ever pushed Mizuki away. It’s been months now, and he’s never said no; he’s a careful lover, and he treats Mizuki with a gentleness and a passion that no one else has ever shown. 

And Mizuki realizes… he doesn’t want anyone else. He just wants Ryo, and only Ryo. 

Reia’s still looking at him, waiting.   
“You’re not…” Mizuki doesn’t want to hurt him, and he doesn’t know how to tell him otherwise. “I’m _sorry_.”

But to his surprise, Reia lights up with a smile. 

“ _Mizuki_. Aww, look at you~ ” Reia coos at him. He reaches up to poke Mizuki’s cheek, and Mizuki brushes his hand away, frowning.

“What.” He feels like he’s being made fun of somehow, but can’t quite figure out why. It’s making him feel nervous, his heart beating more quickly in his chest, and for some reason, he’s not sure he wants to hear what Reia has to say. 

“You’re all grown up~ ” Reia continues, and Mizuki has no idea what he’s talking about, and doesn’t really like it. Nervous butterflies are kicking up in his stomach. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” He scowls, and tries to back away. But Reia latches on tight to his arm and doesn’t let go. Mizuki wants to push him away. He doesn’t want to listen. 

But Reia just keeps smiling, and when he speaks, Mizuki knows that his words are true. 

“ _You’re in love_.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Ryo, can I talk to you?” Mizuki asks. “Alone?”

“Sure…?” 

Mizuki leads Ryo to a small meeting room down the hall. It’s in the opposite direction from the entrance, so the others won’t have to pass by as they leave. Ryo seems a bit confused when Mizuki flips the lock on the door behind them - usually that would mean he’s looking for a specific type of _alone time_ , but with the wall to the hallway a full pane of frosted glass, this clearly isn’t the place for that. 

“Mizuki?”

Mizuki turns to Ryo and then… stands there, completely at a loss for words, anything he’d been planning to say completely escaping him. He’s not nervous, not really. It’s just that with Ryo looking at him so closely like that, all his feelings come welling up inside of him: love and guilt mixing in a confusing cloud of emotion.

Love, because now Mizuki can acknowledge the truth of it, and it’s important. It’s something Ryo needs to know. 

Guilt, because now that he understands, Mizuki can see how blind he’s been, and just how badly he’s hurt Ryo in the process. 

“Ryo, I…” 

_I love you_ , he wants to say. But those feelings swell in his chest, immense and powerful, and his throat closes tight as tears burn behind his eyes. Mizuki opens his mouth to try again and all that comes out is a shaky little sob, and then he blinks. The tears fall before he can stop them, one after another, and Mizuki doesn’t know what to do. 

So he does the only thing he can: he throws his arms around Ryo’s neck and buries his face in his shoulder. Ryo’s arms come up to circle around him immediately. He pulls Mizuki close, holding him safe, his words soft in Mizuki’s ear.

“I’m here,” he says. “You’re okay.” 

And Ryo just holds him while he cries, warm hands rubbing soothing circles on his back, and his gentleness only makes Mizuki cry harder, big, wracking sobs that he can’t control. He can’t control _anything_ when he’s with Ryo, and it’s terrifying. His whole body betrays him: his heart races, his chest squeezes so tight he can barely breath, and his brain goes blank, the sudden fear of losing him whiting out all other thoughts. 

He loves him so much, and he feels like he’s losing his mind.

“Don’t ever let me go,” Mizuki says, his voice muffled against Ryo’s shoulder. 

“I won’t,” Ryo assures him. 

“Promise me,” Mizuki demands. 

“I promise.” Ryo can’t even know what he means, but he’ll promise Mizuki anything, and Mizuki knows he’ll do anything to keep his promises. 

Mizuki leans back slightly, not pulling out of Ryo’s arms, but just enough that he can look at him. Mizuki knows he’s a mess. His head is pounding and his eyes feel swollen from crying. He’s sure they’re red, and it’s no surprise that Ryo seems concerned. Mizuki feels entirely ridiculous. Ryo probably thinks something awful has happened, when really it’s just that Mizuki can’t deal with his own emotions at all. 

Ryo cups his cheek gently in one hand, brushing his thumb along Mizuki’s cheekbone, and _fuck_ , why is he so…

But now that Mizuki’s all cried out, it’s easier to talk. 

“It’s not–” Mizuki sniffles, his nose still running. “It’s not something bad.” 

He’s not sure what he’s going to say yet, but he knows he should reassure Ryo of that at least. He feels a little better when the look of worry smoothes away from Ryo’s face as he accepts Mizuki’s words. 

“Okay,” Ryo says quietly, and he waits, patient with Mizuki as always.

Mizuki takes the time that Ryo offers, standing there in his embrace, and finds the words that he needs. 

“I’m so sorry,” he starts. 

Ryo tilts his head slightly. “For what?”

Mizuki sighs. “For everything. For not understanding sooner. I–” He takes a deep breath. “I’ve been really awful to you.”

“You haven’t, though?” Ryo just looks confused again. 

“I _have_ , Ryo. I… should have known how you felt.”

Ryo’s expression immediately turns serious and he looks down, no longer making eye contact. It’s clear he knows what Mizuki’s talking about now. 

“Mizuki… it– it doesn’t matter… ”

“Of course it matters!” Mizuki says vehemently. He grabs Ryo by the shoulders and Ryo looks back up at him, startled. “It _matters_ , Ryo. _You_ matter, and I– 

“ _I love you_ ,” Mizuki whispers.

He’s breathing hard, but he said it. 

“Mizuki…” Ryo is staring. 

“You promised not to let go,” Mizuki reminds him, and Ryo nods faintly, still wide-eyed. 

“Can I still hold you to that promise?”

Ryo nods again, slowly, like he’s still processing. “Yeah…”

And Mizuki can’t help it at all. He leans forward and kisses Ryo, and Ryo kisses him right back. It’s that same gentleness and passion that he’s always shown, and now Mizuki can feel it for what it is, and he knows that Ryo loves him. He hopes Ryo can feel how he echoes it, hopes that he understands just how much he means to Mizuki. He kisses Ryo with everything he has and everything he is. 

Eventually Ryo pulls away, slowly, seemingly reluctant. “Mizuki…”

“ _I won’t let go_ ,” Mizuki tells him. It’s his own promise. 

Ryo’s smile grows slowly, not his usual brilliant grin, but something small and soft and secret. 

“I’ll hold you to that.”


End file.
